Renew with a Song

I HAVE ADDED A NEW LINK TO THE RIGHT CALLED "DID YOU HEAR?" THERE IS A LINK TO CNN.COM BELOW IT. I ADDED THIS THIS MORNING AFTER HEARING ABOUT YET ANOTHER DISASTER, THIS TIME IN JAPAN, I THINK IT IS IMPORTANT EVERYONE BE INFORMED, AND TO HELP WITH THIS I ADDED THE LINK TO MY PAGE.

wehearit.com

Last night I got another massage at my school (they charge me as a student up until 6months after I graduated. Score! This means 20/1hr massages for me :) Which meant another moment of shame when I had to tell more teachers who were full of praise that I am not doing the work, and that I am still at my old job, which is in fact causing the stress I came in for. *deep sigh* oh brother!

While laying on the table I had all the run of the mill insecurities one has when laying in the buff under a thin sheet.  Wishing I could somehow gracefully apologize to the girl who would soon discover that this girl has got "lady dinner arms" (meaning they are a flappy, flabby mess.. in my eyes)

Yes I know that these bull dog  arms I have are a direct result of what I have been affectionately calling my "Bakers Diet".

I am irritated too because I was loosing weight and doing great with going to spin classes, exercise (ok like three times but still!) and feeling trim and healthy.

weheartit.com

I realized that I started to buy my own love in the same way divorced parents bribe their children for affection, and forgiveness. I started to spend less time on myself, and with myself. I've been a little impressed at how nutty my hair has become at work even...

What I like to call the "Ninja Bun"

(last week)

Ninja Bun strikes again earlier this week...

I am happy. And I am content (well.. as content as I usually get) And I am so excited for so many important events coming up! Trips, seeing friends, family, weddings, vacations, concerts the whole nine yards!

But now I think it is time I take a step back from all that excitement and spend more time with me :) and more time on me.

After all I deserve a good hair day every day, healthy lunches and dinners, taking myself out for hikes again and a job I can feel proud to tell my loving teachers I finally have and their efforts weren't wasted with me.

thank you

**Fun massage fact: the stones are rarely ever placed on the skin this way, there is almost always a sheet or towel between you and the stone (except face stones) these pictures are for marketing shots only
In celebration in my renewed self love (ew not in a dirty way) and renewed vow to take better care of me, I have dedicated this song below to me from me.

There comes a time, a time in everyones life

Where nothin seems to go your way

Where nothing seems to turn out right

There may come a time, you just cant seem to find your place

For every door you open, seems like you get two slammed in your face

Thats when you need someone, someone that you can call.

And when all your faith is gone

Feels like you cant go on

Let it be me

Let it be me

(aka me lol yes, I am thrilled with my cleverness)

If its a friend that you need

Let it be me

Let it be me

Feels like you always commin up last

Pockets full of nothin, ain't got no cash

No matter where you turn, you aint got no place to stand

You reach out for something and they slap your hand

Now I remember all to well

Just how it feels to be all alone

You feel like you'd give anything

For just a little place you can call your own

Thats when you need someone, someone that you can call

And when all your faith is gone

Feels like you cant go on

Let it be me

Pretty huh? I love it. It is by Ray LaMontange.. I went to go see him when he opened for David Gray for my birthday in September. it was awesome!!!

Now honestly, besides my tree trunk arms, I feel pretty good about myself. But I decided to give something up for Lent. I knew it was time when..

*People from the office started to count on me to have chocolate, cookies, or a cake on hand at all times.. all times.

*I ate a healthy lunch, and then felt sick

*I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup at my desk, after I told a coworker I'd give up sweets (incld soda) She yelled "STOOOP! What are you doing you cant eat that?"  I said..."Umm yes I can, I have to. I have to get rid of the sweets first umm hello!... Also, no one will want it because I licked it" I then proceeded to lick the Reese's in front of her.  This brought a wave of laughter then embarrassment.

*I snack too much! And get very upset/paranoid that when people are at my desk there is invisible spittle being flung onto my soda can, or treat.. then I can't eat it..no I eat it just really fast and before someone has the chance to come up!

Thank you google

Motivation.