Monday, August 29, 2011


Ok Homies you KNOW I had to post these!
King B and Sir Jay Z announced last night at the VMAs that she is prego.
Um cutest kid ever!

This site said:
But the night belonged to Beyoncé, who had announced her pregnancy on the red carpet. During the middle of the show, she belted out "Love On Top." At the end of the performance, she rubbed her belly as her usually-serious husband, rapper Jay-Z, jumped out of his chair and cheered in the audience with Kanye West.

See her sing!! here

I feel like I need to be their nanny. B and I would bond over making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the mornings, and Jay Z would lend me his hats when I had bad hair days. I'd high five other staff members passing in the halls with their awesome baby strapped to my back, and Beyonce would call me B.. yeah. This totally needs to happen STAT.
{or in nine months}

Oh, but that line she says before she sang, "I want you all to feel the love growing inside of me"
 Creepiest thing she could have possibly said.
... ever ...


My poor NYC! This weekend it was bitch slapped by Hurricane Irene. Boooo. Although many are without power until later tomorrow, most are fine and returning home. I know some may think I am nuts, but oh how I wish I was there during the storm!
First, I love storms!!!
Second, it would have been great bonding time with my new city and the people.
But no

 I was here.
in dry


Alright, so moving right along on this Monday, Monday {bah dah, dah dah dah dah} Are my newest love: the tweed wide leg trousers.
They are sadly not everywhere. but soon. I feel that once it is more...Autumn-ie they will take over the racks.
{please please please}

I really like this dress for Fall too..

How freaking adorable and wonderful are these sparkle pieces for Fall!!
I love them

 I think My style for Fall this season is going to be a little.. business-ish. Which is odd since I don't work in that type of industry ... soooo not sure how I plan to pull these looks off.. but hey! if only in my head then whatevs right :) 
oh and these Accessories too!

My dear lovely friend Lou who you'd know from here, graduated this last Thursday from a very competitive nursing program!! She was totally adorable in her little white scrubs {sorry no pics} and on Friday I went to celebrate with her and her twin sis Underwood {who might be starting her own blog YAY!} and the little man {who giggled the entire time! Ugh Love}.
 While we were eating I got a text from Shark asking if I was there at the resturant..? I sat up in the booth and looked around to spot him just behind us siting at the bar with his cousin.
Oh Lordy.
 After my friends tagged him as a stage five clinger {bahaha} we paid our check and I stopped by to give my friendly hello. I'm really not sure whats happening there. He is in? He is out? Who can keep up? Playa runs hot and cold.
I am warming up to a date night with the Diamond Back very soon this week! Not sure what to do though... and the ball is sorta in my court.. ideas?

Umm the following is me drooling over these dresses. I love wedding dresses what can I say?!

Which is your favorite? They all remind me of a fairytail princess wedding!

clothes from and dresses from here

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Do You Have a Pair?

There have been several times I have lost my way in life, or become stuck. During one of these times a great and wise friend once told me when I was complaining, "For the love! You need a pair..borrow mine and deal with all this!" That friend is who I refer to as Undwerwood. After bursting into laughter when I heard this I realized she was right. Did I not have "a pair"? Where was my gusto? My guts? My courage to take control?

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  ~Dorothy Bernard

 Since then I have given said "pair" back to her and have moved forward in my life always looking towards the new, the happy, and the chance to learn about what is laying ahead of me. True to form I have now been asked a few times by family members or friends what makes me brave?

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.  ~Raymond Lindquist

Geeze.. what a loaded question huh? Mostly I feel humbled by the fact that someone would think that I am... all I know is that each time I step out and just try... I feel like I gain something in return..and more often than not I am reaching the goal out in front of me. Each time I do this I have the courage to do it again and again and again the next time I come face to face with something.

Courage doesn't always roar.  Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.  ~Mary Anne Radmacher

I am so in love with these colors!

Naturally while I was thinking about this subject matter I thought of Beyonce. She is so courageous and really makes it a point to empower woman... and I am feelin it!

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.  ~Winston Churchill

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.  There can be no courage unless you're scared.  ~Edward Vernon Rickenbacker

This could not explain how I feel any better! I was told again Friday night {on my date with the Diamond Back} that I was courageous for moving out to NYC in November. I think that people see my confidence in my choice, and my certainty in my follow through as being without fear. But they couldn't be more wrong. I am defiantly afraid to make this move! I have so much here that I will be missing out on. Really terrific things!

The people in my life are amazing people who I have learned so much from, leaned on, cheered for, and have fought for. I will miss the chances to lounge around and eat gobs of ice cream and chat.. I will miss all of the special events as my friends little boy grows up, and watching her become this amazing momma to him. I am afraid to be in a city that is dangerous, strong and fast moving...what if I can't keep up? I am afraid to start another job, and begin to market myself in a new career. I will miss my friends pregnancy as she starts her own family, and wont be here to help set up her new home... all of the holidays I'll miss with my sister and surrogate families... I am afraid to miss all of these things. But I believe that it is time for me to let go of this part of my life, and move on.

Date Update
Shark has decided that he can't share... and he has also decided that he has become too attached to me in a short period of time when I am leaving in a few months time.
Although he knew we weren't exclusive, and he knew I was moving we continued on knowing that.. I think the reality of it all is catching up to him. And as someone who is 37years old and probably wanting to really start buckling down to find that perfect someone I don't blame him in the least for wanting to cut and save face. I have zero hard feelings and am a smidgen relieved. I was surprised to feel that way.

All along I have struggled myself with dating two people at once..I have been a one-on-one kinda girl for so long. As I started to get to know each of them better I realized, "shoot I like them both!" I sort of dreaded the hypothetical having to "choose one" if one of them ever gave me that ultimatum. I had such positive feelings towards both I thought they were sort of "tied".
But once I got the feeling that Shark was being aloof..I felt a little more at ease that I'd be able to continue to date the Diamond Back the way I am used to dating. One on one. Without distraction, competition, or any comparisons {Try as I might I couldn't help but compare.. I know.. not good}.

I feel much more comfortable now, and at ease with dating just one. Even though I did really enjoy my time spent with Shark, and I am sad that he feels he can't continue to spend time together. However aloof and slightly immature he has been handling his feelings these past few days doesn't seem to really bother me either. I feel ... done. I feel complete with that mini relationship, and I feel really really excited for the one that I have now.

Diamond back is the sweetest. Normally I get a little annoyed and put off by any cheesy remarks, but somehow he pulls them off very well. Mostly because he is a genuine person, and it feels less like a pick up line. We went to a blues bar called the Rhythm Room. He had an absolute blast, and we both had giant goofy smiles the entire time. Was it the amazing band? Or the man roller skate dancing on the dance floor with the hat that said "F*** the Police", or maybe it was the fact that I danced with an adorable old man to "I Feel Good!", and had DBack come and cut in once the slow song came on... mm.. probably all of it!
We hung out and talked on my patio until 3am and then called it a night. Before we said our goodnights he asked me to go to dinner Tuesday night.

Tuesday night was great. Simple, fun, relaxed. Nice. I woke up to a text he had sent saying, "Each time I see you it just seems to get better and better"

Now how could I not have a smile on my face alll day on Wednesday {my day off} even with a shark phone call looming. Yep. I am happy as a clam.

This is pretty much what I did alllll day long yesterday on my day off. It was glorious. I could have brought my car in for an oil change.. but what kind of fun would that have been? I could have cleaned all day and dusted...but what kind of relaxation would that have brought? I could have worked out, gone for a long walk or jog, but how well would that have gone with my chocolate covered pomegranate seeds?

**Did you know there is a Google Search option just for Carrie Underwoods legs?? I can totally see why though. Hot damn her legs are rockin!**

As NYC gets closer I feel a little more nervous. A little more nostalgic about AZ, and a little more excited as all hell! Scary? Yes! Worth it? YES!

My Own

Tell me... Do you Have  a Pair?? No? You can borrow mine!

Friday, August 19, 2011

under the weather and dreaming

{oops not sure where!}
Ok let me just say that my my bestie, is the best. I have two besties I consider besties. And they really really are both so hilarious and supportive and fun and gorgeous and smart and generous. I love my besties!
I would also like to look fab in the back of a limo [more realistic-cab} and kinda mean mug a camera... oh yes.. this WILL happen! Mark my blogging words!

As of Monday night I came down with Strep throat.
{hence the sort of lamo post..sorry}
{this post is awesome}
After a $$ trip to the Urgent Care I am now properly hopped up on antibiotics AND some steroid medication.
These make me mucho hungry one second, and then have ZERO interest in food the next. It really is fun to order lunch just to throw it away.
Tonight is my date.. thingie with the Diamond Back at the blues bar. I am 70% Excited 20% Curious and about 10%Cautious. The perfect mix right? Cheers! More to come with details!
The ex is in town, and although I thought long and hard about meeting up with him to hang out and "..." I have about the same interest I did in my now trashed lunch. Ugh... no need to go there.. like ever again.. and also.. why am I still hanging onto a friendship?? Boy I really needed to have the little run in we did at work. (YEAH still comes into the place he used to work and stays for HOURS) Anyway.. it was less annoying this time, and more.. whatev I want to read my blogs.. shuush boy! I honestly sat there and carried on a pleasant enough conversation with him about.. who knows what the weather? School? Who cares.. and searched his face.. his voice.. something that would trigger that emotion. the emotion that sits in the pit of your stomach when you loved someone SO much and you see them again and it still manages to creep up and pinch!
 But not a feeling was stirring.. not even a mouse {I'm really excited for Christmas!}
So I cancelled those plans and didn't really make any new plans to see him before he goes. Why would I do a thing like that when I have Diamond back and the Shark?
Speaking of the Shark.. a few nights ago I went over there {looking like a bedmonster: which is a game I play with mamba where I hide in the blankets... you know what.. never mind. Just know I looked like hell.} We baked a cake for a coworker and watched a movie. Well he watched.. I mocked Keanu Reeves.. man .. I really cant stand him. He has zero expression people! How are you an actor with NO facial expressions??

To help me to get to sleep at night I have been playing a mixed little play list with your classic Enya songs, thunderstorm sounds, and "Down by the Riverside" by Agnes Obel.

I am not sure if you have listened to this song. But its sort of beautiful in a very haunting and whimsical creepy wise words way..

I find the above photo kind of wonderful

Who am I kidding I would love to have a cloak of butterflies!
 I think she is just beautiful, and the videos really match the day dreaming in my head when I listen to it. it makes me miss cooler summer nights, and talking long walks or bike rides in the park when it is just dusk and the sound track remains the same.. birds in the trees, bugs chirping.. but the birds song changes, and the bees hum switch to a crickets chime and you can get away with prancing around on the cool grass over to the water bare foot and a little muddy.

yeah.. I miss that.

This part of today's blog is called "But its on SALE!"
in my pledge to NOT spend money where it isn't paying down a ccard or into my savings for NYC, I am pained to see so many cute things on sale right now at VS.
So here, i give this tip to you!
 Right now at VS and in stores there is a mucho mucho sale!!

It isnt even so much that I want this top, its that my arms do

I have decided that past hairdressers be damed! {not really}
For New Years this year I am going BLOND!
Here is why:

reason one

reason two.

Here is the song for you to close your eyes, and drema up your perfect summer experiance while you have a lsiten:

Monday, August 15, 2011

In Like

So this weekend I met up with fella number two: the "Diamond Back".
I met up with him and his friends at a restaurant/bar/night was a confusing place LOL and also a reminder that I am not that hip. BUT my hair was in a super cute bun thanks to my new giant bobby pins and casual dark jeans, belt, grey v neck t shirt and heels.
The entire night I laughed. I laughed so hard my face hurt..its the best kind of laughter I think.
It's nice that there is a familiarity and still so much to find out about. I like him. I like shark. I may be in trouble. Because now I like them both.

Another date is in place with the Diamond Back for this Friday. We shall see how that goes.

The rest of the weekend was spent lovin up on the birthday boy and frantically making these for the big party!

So last week I wanted to address something that someone said to me here at work. Then when I read a post by a favorite blogger Dancing Branflake about a smilier theme, I thought I'd pause on it and decide what exactly I wanted to say about the exchange.
So here is what was said:

Coworker A: Oh here comes Bridgette..I think she is the only one left... soon though.. very soon..
Gaggle of coworkers: {Giggles}
Me: Ummm what are you talking about? Soon what?
Coworker A: You're next to have kids.. any day now I bet you'll come in and tell us your having a baby!
Me: Yeah.... did you hit your head or something? No way sister!
 {all smiles even though I am secretly soooo annoyed with this topic}
Coworker M: Oh so you're one of those selfish people...
Me: Excuse me!? {shocked!}
Coworker M: You're just too selfish and self involved to ever have children I guess...

Stunned now and holding back every smart snarky remark that was flying through my head.. I paused and took in every one of the faces staring back at me nervously...
Me: that must be it....?

The other girls laughed and kept talking about how there is "something n the water" and the when and the how they found out they were pregnant.....

I walked away feeling so mad.. and so angry.. Where do I even begin? It was sooo.. rude.. so..sooo mean. Normally I don't take any ones anything, for any reason! But these days I seem to be just stuck in a state of shock.. give them a passive aggressive word or two.. and walk away.. still stunned! Whats happened to me? Is the holding back a sign of maturity? For surly to bark back at this ritious piece of work woman wouldn't really be very beneficial. Nor would a brawl have been very professional. I wasn't even IN the conversation! I was brought into it.. it was a drive by attack and conversational trap!

No, I am not sure I do want children. And I think that just because a person CAN do something, doesn't mean they should. Especially when that "thing" is creating life. Another whole person. And isn't it sort of the opposite of selfish for me to dicide that I should not have a child right now because I am minus a serious relationship where I am in love with the father, and have zero money to my name, and am planning a trip across the country to move! Wouldn't it be supremely selfish for me to then decide after knowing all of that, that this child wouldn't "have it all"? Wouldn't have all of me, and wouldn't have the best possible chances.. to continue to just have a baby because I can.... to what? To prove to other woman that I am this all knowing, life giving being? Pff.
To quote the Practical Magic Auntie "{Snifff} There's the distinct smell of bull.shit!"
I'm so calling BS on this one ladies.

I have nothing against babies. In fact in recent months I have learned I quite love them in fact. A sweet warm little innocent being! Love it. Toddlers... eh.. not my fav little people stage. It's the testing boundaries phases.. the first of many.. and it's a very loud and whiny phase. Blah. But none of this means that I HATE children. That all I want in life is me me me! And that I can't stop and think about other people long enough to get knocked up because I'm stuck in front of some mirror making kissy faces at myself.

Here is my final thought: For a few years know I have learned the key to the choices I make. Ready for it? Intention. I believe that if I decided to have a child right now it would be selfish. I would not be thinking of the child and where I am in my life, and how that will effect this child. I think that when my intentions are FOR the child,  I will have created a life that will welcome, and support a child in all the best ways it can.. then that will be the best time to have a baby. Not when there is "something in the water", not when all my friends are pregnant too and. "oh wont it be fun to match and have double baby showers", and certainly not when I already have several children, am a single parent, and can hardly make ends meet as it is... will I ever decide that that is the time to have another child.


And because I want to end on a happy and selfish note ;) I REALLY want this blouse.. so cute right?

Friday, August 12, 2011

Shark Attack

I have had a few requests about the Shark and what he looks like... ladies... brace thy self.
{thanks to *}

Mmmmm yeah Okay. I'm not kidding. He looks mucho similar to the Dempsey... "Derek", or "McDreamy".
I sent a friend two pictures from his fb (I know..creep alert!) and she was really shocked at how similar they looked, I think she thought I was making some leap there. Same gorgeous head of dark hair, same eyes, same build. But let me stress.. the clincher in the similarities all depend on the smile. Because his smile...ugh, ok the smile creates the cutest lines around his eyes like Dempsey.
Not these eyes:
I don't know what these are..
 These are sad eyes..
Shark doesn't do the sad eyes look... thank goodness.. McDreamy had a TON of sad eyes pictures online...and I kinda thought they were funny after awhile...
one more!


Also I about fell on the floor laughing when bestie A asked me if it had occurred to me that there is an episode of FRIENDS where Monica and Chandler have their own shark discussion... 

Rest assured that this is NOT while I call my guy Shark lol.

Today the hair was... done. Washed and all grown up blown out as per the norm these days.. but ... boring.
So I twisted back some strands and used two pins to secure them. I really liked the out come!
 Also, I was really bored at work today!. {'ll see...}


 Okay, so I have been asked a lot lately if my sister MGrace will be going to NYC or not.. the answer is still the same, "She is 99.9% sure.. but there is still the smallest chance she might not". This is her answer to me each time I ask her !! She cracks me up. If you haven't already read, I think she and I would have made bombbastic {thank you Britney Spears for that word} versions of Mary Kate and Ashley...

So I decided to search the two and their looks throughout the years . I must say... they kinda got it DOWN 
Totally reminds me of my sisters and I when we are all together

I am 50% sure that we will never have a need to get this dressed up, but in case we do...FUN

pretty sure we'll never be too cool to hold hands, love that they aren't either


Well this is just fun!

I hope you all have a great weekend, can't wait for the birthday party, ball games, dates, and relaxing eating in my bed!!!