Friday, April 29, 2011

I dream of Afria

I woke up the other day with a crystal clear image Africa, and my mom.
First thing in the morning I turned on my computer, and wrote it down for her in an email... I share:

So I had this dream the other day when I was taking a nap and I am elaborating on it a little here:
You were living in Africa with C. I was a little older, and us "kids" were taking turns going to visit you at your new place there. I was the first one to go and you were so excited!

You picked me up from a dusty airport in little cargo shorts all tan and tiny like you are, and wearing a straw cowgirl hat, your long hair was braided loose with pieces that fell out and framed your familiar face and the same blue eyes we share.

You arrived in a jeep and were clearly more prepared for what to wear then I. You had these boots on (Remember when I was little you had these walking boots? And giant white fluffy socks that rumpled up around your ankle?) and a jean front button up vest type shirt... sleeveless (again I am SURE you had something like this at some point because I can see this outfit SO clearly lol) You are all smiles and calling me Bridgie.

Brown clings to my black Doc Martin type shoes, jeans, black concert T with black blazer (apparently in my dreamland hailing from NY means I mostly wear black now LOL) as the wind kicks up dirt dirt and more dirt. I look up to find you and first see giant birds.  I have never seen birds that color or size before in a tree that seems so small and so weak I am shocked it can hold the birds’ weight!

There are several utility vehicles there picking up their peeps and your jeep is off to the side and a green/brown color with giant wheels a roll bar and big flood spot lights.

 We run, hop and jump with excitement to see each other and you give me a big ol’ hug.
You smell like you, like the perfume I used to spray on my jacket before school and wet dirt.. it might rain soon.. you tell me it’s been scattered showers the past few days now. Shouting over the rumbling sounds of the airport behind us you say “common!” and pick up my bag and toss it in the back of the jeep. I wait to see how you’ll climb in and follow your lead.

The jeep has a loud grumble as you bring it to life and we jostle about in the front seats. You shout out random sights to me and point in the direction you want me to look. I can kiiiiinda make out most of what you say.. but some of the time I just look… squint… and then nod and smile back at you “yes.. that IS neat!” having no clue what is way out there you are so jazzed about, but it makes me smile to see how familiar you have made yourself with your surroundings here, and how happy you are to show me all of it!

The view around us is vast and flat. The sky above has bursts of light blue sky but has dark gray and purple clouds moving and covering them quickly as they roll around the sky above.
Unlike the ocean it is easy to see where sky meets the gold fields of tall (what I call “safari”) grass on the horizon. The gold and yellow shades seem somehow highlighted and brighter compared to the dark sky above.

I look out and am amazed at all the movement I see in an otherwise empty and great valley. The wave of the grass as it bends with the wind; the shadows from the clouds moving over head and casting down pockets of light, or rain depending on where you look…

We come to a bridge that is just wide enough for your tires to skim by on either end. There is a group of giraffe in the distance and you get a little smirk as you quickly pull the jeep to the side of the road.

You lean over to undo your seat belt and pause to say, “get out!”. I follow suite and hop down with a thud. Small puffs of dirt rise and settle atop my shoes. I look down and sigh... clearly they will be brown and no longer black before I even get to your place. “Such is life” I tell myself, "I’ll have AFRICA DIRT!.."
 I consider saving it in a jar when I get home for a minute and then see you round the front end of the jeep and motion for me to come walk towards the tall animals...

I hesitate. What if there is a cheetah out there...

I look over at you, and we both wait a beat... you adjust a boot lace and remove a spur in your sock.  I remove my blazer and toss it back onto my seat in the jeep and look back at you.. you smile.. I smile.. and you say.. “lets run!” I am so game!

 With each of us holding our hats firmly atop our heads with one hand we run through all the tall grass (safari grass). It’s as flat as it looks.. no tricky rocks to fumble your foot. No holes.. nothing. Just flat.. and a little springy..

We run until we see a creek that is clear clear clear and it is the divide between our galloping path and the troop of giraffe who don’t seem to be one bit concerned or curious about us. They continue to chew on top leaves and bump into one another in a somewhat lazy afternoon kinda way. One is laying down in the middle and I think it still might be taller than I am from sternum to the top of his little horn on his head. They are not at all clumsy or gangly like cartoons make them out to be.

In fact nothing is exactly how I thought it would be.

I knew there would be wide open spaces, but not with such color and movement. I didn’t know there would be a cool breeze and storm clouds. I didn’t know the tall grass wouldn’t itch my legs, but feel soft and feather like on my fingertips as I ran through them. I didn’t know the water would be so clear, or that the wind would smell so sweat.

We pant, and watch them a short while before turning around and starting our walk back to the jeep which sits alone on the side of the road and waits for us as if it may have rolled its “eyes” at us when we got out, but is now happy to wait while we act like little kids on vacation.. because.. we are!


We can hear each other much better now that we aren’t near the loud plane engine, or the roar of the road while we drive.. so I tell you about the flight.. the odd ball people, the confusing terms and cocktails I consumed. I fill you in ‘short hand’ on the people in my life.. friends.. roommates.. maybe the guy I’m seeing.. nothing too important or pressing. You ask me if I’m hungry, and tell me a funny story about the market where you went today. You list off a few of the things you want to make for tonight’s dinner. You tell me C is in charge of such’n such, and I’ll be in charge of this’n that.                                    I agree and it sounds good.

You tell me more about the people you have met, and someone you are really excited for me to meet.. a new friend you are already just in love with. We climb back in, I’m a pro already at this and we clip in our belts and the jeep comes to a roar.

Mom. Move to Africa please for a little while so we can run in feather fields and watch wild life . oh please!

Lol Bridgie

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Someone Like You

So I have heard that "Chasing Pavements" song.. and I didn't really like it..? It struck me as kinda annoying. Sorry Adele darling.

But then my sister said her name to me the other day, and when I called my mom {who happened to be oil painting listening to an Adele CD} it prompted me to spend the next three hours on youtube watching music videos, and interviews.

It cracks me up that someone so beautiful and someone so talented has such a hilarious laugh!

I absolutely have fallen in love with her music, her voice, and her eye liner.

I my reasons for staying single are valid, smart, and realistic.. but dang it man! I feel like I am missing out. I am definitely someone who enjoys her routine of crackers and Nilla Wafers in bed with a good movie or book as a single gal. But I am also really good in relationships as well.
 bahhaa of course that's what I think anyways...
I just can't help but to feel sad some times. and yes watching a friend get married isn't super helpful on the single girl front.
I may have had a small pity party.. or two.. after the day. Replaying Adele and singing it at the top of my lungs while I drive home on the freeway and scare fellow drivers that pass and see my ugly cry face singing along to "Someone Like You".

But I can't help it.. just like I can't help that as I type this I am eating an Easter themed Reese's cup right now.. {with a fork}
"But Burns you were doing so good. You have been happy as a clam.. what in blazes set this off?" you ask?
I'll tell you. At the beautiful wedding, with the beautiful bride, and her beautiful family, sister, friends and twinkle lights, was also a beautiful guy I may have already kinda sorta dated.. Mr. X. poop I know right. Your totes rolling your eyes at me. that's cool.. just keep reading though while you do so please.

The entire night I never found myself alone standing for more then two minutes before he was at my side and holding my hand, or swooping in to lead me to the dance floor for a slow dance, refilling my drink {ok that one may have had some ulterior motives attached} but dang it if it wasn't really really nice. He volunteered to take me home {again...motives lol} and when the fact that I hadn't eaten since 8 am that morning and since had had perhaps one too many and I wanted sit sit and hide in the bridal suite, he sat there too.
{I was totally fine ps and didn't act a fool or end up sick.. in fact I didn't even have so much as a headache the next day CHAMPION!}

Of course I know I am indulging in that feeling though and that in reality I am perfectly fine.
But it is hard when you are good with someone and to know it isn't going to work.

It might not be a bad idea for me to try and find someone like him.

But just in case I don't... and the sad girl thing keeps showing up in the car, on the radio, in my iPod, in the store {as sad girl is certainly responsible for the Reeses breakfast shopping}, and any other time I have access to my iTunes I am soo glad and somewhat comforted that Adele has already been there, done this, and then recorded an amazingly heart felt and honest song about it all for both me, and my sad single gal self to listen to. on repeat.

Monday, April 25, 2011

wedding weekend

As promised here are some pictures from my gorgeous friend Lisas wedding!

My Rrehearsal Dinner Dress
The dinner was at this great little Italian place. Lisas family and her fiance Richards family hadn't really met before so she had everyone get together for this dinner to mingle and get to know one another. Kids ran around and became fast friends, and I became fast friends with the canolies and bartender.. mmm.

My new dinner ring!
 Isn't it so pretty!! I really like it because it looks glittery, but up close its really just a lot of grooves in metal so its kinda manly up close lol

This colorful breakfast ended up being the only thing I ate the day of the wedding at 8 am.. I do not reccomend this.. especially if you end up with champagine AND your drink of choice in both hands during most of the night

My inspiration for hair and make up

Me and my Lou a few minutes before her big entrance
I almost face planted and made her crack up laughing.. count on me to almost fall and break the tension in the room lol

Ok I know she is my friend.. but isn't she the most beautiful bride EVER!
I could not stop gazing at her the entire day.. she was so happy and beaming.

My Faith Hill Perfume

My earings

The center pieces

Ek! My "Before" shot

A horrid picture of a picture, but only shot of just us three bridesmaids

Underwood putting on her twin sisters pretty shoes for the day

So I kinda had to put the photographer in his place.
Jeff.. or Joe.. or who ever the guy is becuase he literaly said to me:
"Bridgette I am going to punch you if you don't smile!"
Said to me right before this shot where he told me I had to "smush in" the shot becuase the sun was directly IN my eyes the entire time..

The beautiful couple!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

all I can say for myself is..


Holy crap.

1. I suck at blogging these days. soooo sorry. But dude..
2. Finally feeling much better in time for the wedding.
3. finally stopped peeling from burn in time for wedding.
4. never ended up working out or dieting for wedding.. still fit into dress though for wedding. (phew!)
5. Currently dealing with mini dramas about the wedding.. two days before the wedding.

awww isnt that the way though? I feel like I need a fanny pack and vest like Jennifer Lopez in the Wedding Planner.. where does one buy one??

I havent posted any pics of this beautiful lady I dont think. but I dont think she would mind because ummm.. she looks AMAZING!!!

this is her practice make up session and I cant wait to see it all done on the day of! She will look so beautiful as always...

this is my Lisa Lou everyone isnt she beautiful!!

I have written my little mini speech as I am not a main character at this event and am pleased with what little sentences I was able to string together.

tomorrow will be jam PACKED!

I will post soo many pictures your eyes will be happy for HOURS the following week as well as a million crazy stories.. cuz believe you me the dramas that a rollin in.. they are insane!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

What Did You Dream of Being?

Can't wait for Water For Elephants to come out.. looks beautiful!
I loved getting your emails and comments in response to my recent post on some motherly advice. The story of my brother wanting to be in the circus and his bear "Scraggle Bear" being his elephant has some what stayed with me these past few days.


When I was younger I wanted desperately to be many things. First a Guardian Angel like in the movie "Heart And Souls". If you haven't seen it it is such a must! But when my Catholic roots told me nah nah I turned my focus to being the best cat there ever was.. and when that proved  near impossible I then took my turn at being a mermaid when I grew up. I mean who HASN'T hooked their ankles together in the pool and totes proved they could pull off the mermaid swim? And The Little Mermaid jump? Don't even get me started. I was a freaking pro at this. I had the perfect long hair and EVERYthing!

One of my older sisters wanted to be the Tooth fairy for awhile too..

Yes that's what me and my brothers and sisters wanted to be when we grew up.. we all chose something magical and wonderful..

What did you want to be when you grew up??

Monday, April 11, 2011

Back Up

I am happy to be back up on two feet and feeling much better!

This past weekend I layed out to try and catch a few flattering rays for the wedding I am in in 13 more days!!
Unfortunatly, I fell asleep out side and got burnt {"It was the badly burnt Albaninian boy..."- Flight Of the Conchords} .. not too bunrt though mostly just dehydrated. And man it wasn't messing around. I was pretty much in bed with a Gaterade IV for the most of SUnday Monday Tuesday Wednesday. BUT NOT TODAY! WOOOHOOO!

I looked back at a few of my texts, emails, and status comments and I am certain that my sick self is much much more of a weirdo then my healthy self.

FB status update by S: Your crazy Friday nights are my Monday nights..
BOFamily comment: Sweet so then you had a Twilight marathon too then? Good deal.

She thought it was hilarious but I swear to you that I did just watch all three Twilight films lol

emails my friends had to endure:
So I'm still not feeling well. And true to "sick Bridgette" days I am now having a twilight marathon! hizah! {see!} The need to vomit is a tiny bit less for a few:). Hope your day is better than mine girlie.
Ps I will not be tan for ur wedding as I will never lay out again.
That's a lie.
But I will never lay out for longer than twenty min at a time.
With high amounts of sun block.
And coolers full of light purple Gatorade.
Also. Did u know my iPhone has Gatorade in it's guess text?
I wonder if certain brands pay for that? Do u think? Liiiiiike ... Coke. Yep pepsi oooo pepsi didn't. Stupid stupid pepsi your missing out. I'd waaaaay rather have a coke now and NOT a pepsi becuase if my iPhone doesn't like enough to remember it then fuck it right?
Thoughts of a sick person~B

Ugh.. my poor friends. But none the less Im still plucking along doing the usual...

I am getting so excited preparing for my friend Lous' wedding!!! We have a girls night/bacholorett party this weekend, we'll have another girls night with just the twins and myself right before the wedding {the TriPod as they call us} Manicures, hair appointments and all things girlie will happen in one quick flash I am sure as the day is upon us.
She sent me pictures from her trial hair and make up session and ladies.. she looks freaking STUNNING! Sooo beautiful!
Can't wait!
;) There might also be a sneak post wedding massage for the MOH and I to destress ;)

I am also continuing the fight to be able to creat my perfect braided crown. its sooo much harder then it looks my goodness! But dring all these trials my hair sure looks nice and wavey these days !!

So tell me.. what have you been up to?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

To the Moms and Mommas to be

My adorable friend Underwood sent my mom an email with a few questions in reguards to parenting for a class she is taking.

I asked my mom to forward me the email while we were talking the other night about my general lack of direction in life, and my flighty ideals on how I think my life "should" be. (pssst the word "should".. I hate it!) {"Are we shoulding all over ourselves?"-CB S&C}

Her advice as per usual, is wonderful and full of love. She recalled a conversation with a sibling who after watching a tv program asked her if he could be a clown. I loved her responce because it isn't just, "yeah" "sure why not", but encouraged and pointed out the things he is good at that would make him good at his new found goal.
My moms endless support and laughter is one of the many thing I love and find comfort in.
I know I have a few mommy/mommy to be readers out there so I thought I would share those Q/As with you too! They are about the five of us kids, all very honest and definatly from the heart...

Enjoy and don't hesitate to give your 2cents too! You can post or email me your answers to this questions if you are so inspired to, I am loving the way I have opened up to children and the idea of being a maybe momma myself.

1. What are your fondest memories?

My fondest memories are those where I was amazed by their individuality, their
purity and innocence, and the fascinating questions and observations they had. I
was in awe that they were mine, given to me to care for - for as long as they
needed me.

2. What were the biggest challenges in parenting your children?

My biggest challenge is that I was a single parent from the time my oldest was
12 and my youngest 2. Consequently, my decisions had paramount impact on them
and I was deeply aware of this. Secondly, the drug culture tip-toed into the
life of one of my children and I found myself terrified. As noted above, my
decisions, every single one of them was mede with love, and with their 
best interest in my heart.

3. Would you do anything differently if you could go back in time?

I would have left my marriage sooner. Had I done that, the negative impact of
their father would have been much less. However, one cannot do something until
they are Positive it is the right move. I "replayed" that decision over and
over in my mind for years after having left. Each time I came to the answer,
"yes it was the right decision to break up this family." But in my own process
of having to know if it was right for all of us... I let it last years longer
than I should have. I only learned this in retrospect.

4. What are the most important things to teach your children so that they will grow up to be successful in their relationships and chosen career?

I believe that children are amazing, if only we will let them be. It was always
my intention and my prayer, and my purpose to suppot them in whatever endeavor
they even mentioned. Once my young child (3 years old) had watched a TV show
where the circus came to town. Afterward, he came to me and asked me if he
could be a clown when he grew up... I told him, 'Absolutely! you're a funny guy,
you'd be a great clown!" then he asked me if his favorite stuffed bear could be
an elephant... I said, "he certainly can!!" and so, no matter the age, the question, the direction, I supported their ideas  (often knowing it would never happen) but never-ever telling them that. Right
up to planning a financial strategy of getting one of them into a university (I
knew would never happen) but that they were so interested in, I sat and planned
and talked money and effort and scholastic ability and we made a graph and a
list of what was needed. That child did not go to that universtiy, but not
surprisingly, his achievements far surpassed that idea at that time.
Each of my children has taken my breath away with their creativity and their
pursuit of who they are.

Regarding relationships: I taught them to always be honest, becasue once trust
was broken, it is near impossible to ever have that person trust you again, no
matter how sorry you are or how many years you try to prove it... secondly, to
think of others... that although we are each important, helping others and
Loving as we go are our reasons for being here.

5. What advice would you give parents today?

Chill the 'f' out.
Talk to your children; don't just believe what you hear about them. Ask them
directly. Then talk about it. And most importantly, do whatever you do, with
love. whether you speak it, show it, give it in silence...get the message
across. Without love, children are lost.

6. What did they do for their career while they were raising their family (i.e.
full-time homemaker, teacher, policeman, sales, etc.).

I was a single mother who was committed to doing whatever it took to keep
employeed and provide a good home: I was a homeaker always...and I was a
waitress; a school bus driver; I worked front office for an audiologist who took
a chance on me and because of that office experience, I was able to graduate in
salary to law offices; medical facilities; mental health offices; dementia units
in hospitals; to virtually being hospice nurse to my own mother; to medical

offices again.
I am presently a pod manager for a very busy family practice office within a
medical group in chico ca.

Thank you so much!
you are welcome my dear girl. i hope this helps your project in some way :)

love love cathy
My momma dear often pictured with a flower in her hair a year ago or so on her birthday!
via my old non iPhone phone..

Friday, April 1, 2011

Up UP!

You know when something happens and your like, “wow, did that really just happen?” and you think that other people should know what happened, but you also think that being a pot stirring, whistle blowing, drama causer would be a crummy thing at a time like this.. in times like these? … know what I mean? No that’s ok. I hardly do too.

This is what happens when your cup of coffee gives you a subtle hand shake awake instead of a sturdy shoulder shake and bitch slap in the morning.. yeah my work coffee is weeeeeak {frat boy voice}!

So I finally got my taxes done, and I am happy to learn I’ll be receiving a very happy gift from the federal folks and state sweetie pies in a week or so. However, like most of my money as fast as I can earn it, it is being assigned a new home, in a new area code (aka bank account, like oh I don’t know.. my Express card maybe? But I don’t care what any judgie bears say.. those dresses were NEEDED dam it!)

Here is a list of all the things my money will NOT be going to even though it would be super bomb!

Clothes, home goods, baking materials/kitchen gadgets, clothes, shoes, purses, make up, accessories, shoes, jewelry, clothes, trips, dinners, shoes, movies, perfumes, tickets to baseball games, or shoes!

Yeah a few things were put on the list more than once based on my devastation.

However, it will be going towards bills, school loan, travel up north for a wedding, and traveling east to NY when I move there in September.

I have decided for sure end of August/September. YES, celebrating a new year in a new city would be awesome (with a new hair cut OF course) but I think celebrating one more year with my friends and my sister will be equally awesome and in so many ways better. I am also planning to make a road trip like adventure with them when I do move to NY so this will be a part of the birthday celebration. My one sister and I have birthdays that are very close together so that will be fun! Our Grandpas birthday and our nephews birthday that month.. it’s a busy one! This year however, my grandpa will be celebrating his 90th birthday!! Yahoo Go Gramps! So I’d like to be around and available for any celebratory get togethers my family might have for that in September as well.

While {still!} catching up on many of your recent posts I was stopped by Style Me Prettys last few posts. UGH these weddings will they ever end? I hope not :) This site has ruined me for any kind of realistic wedding in my future, boy I’ll tell ya!

However, this bride here below is so freaking happy and GEORGOUS! I can’t hardly stand it. All I want to do this weekend is smile, and put my face to the sun and enjoy the small fleeting cool/luke warm breezes this AZ Spring has to offer!

I am so excited folks! The loves of my life Mumford and Sons are always playing.. but so are songs off of Cage The Elephants albums. AND GUESS WHAT? I am totes going to go see them this month. SUPER excited. I love them  If you haven’t already, dude.. go check them out! I really like their newest radio release “Shake me Down”.

My other good listens?

“Easy Silence” by the Dixie Chicks, and “There’s Your Trouble”

lol I totally forgot how much I really really love them! I watched “Shut Up & Sing” last night and for the first time found out what actually happened with that whole thing.. I think I’m what??? 8yrs behind on this news? Lol Oh well I feel like writing them a love letter right about now. LOVE them, and their babies, and hubbies!

Anything by Alexis Murdoch, and of course my ongoing swooning over Florence and the Machine.

Have a great weekend peeps!

Baby of the Family~ Lookin’ up