Tuesday, March 8, 2011

email rummage

I have been having dreams where in the dreams.... I have children.
 THIS is weird.
I was pregnant in one and looking for some paper work while a little girl sat at my feet and repeatedly called up to me, "Mom? mom. Mom! mom?" Each time I would answer her with a different term of endearment, "Yes darling. Yes my love. Sweetie what is it?"

Other images flashed where I was on a hike, a walk through large willow trees and watched as a little boy ran in front of me. When he got too far he would run back like the wind and keep pace with me until he decided I was going too slow and asked, "Mommy I'm going to go again..ok?" I tell him, "I'll time you!"  and he takes off...yeah my dream kid could totes beat your kid in a race.

These are scenes straight out of my own childhood sitting on my mothers feet, and my brothers and I racing her on long walks.. but NEVER have I seen it from this point of view.

During another look through old emails this morning I found a little story I made up when asked :
"What do you think your kids will be like? Or like when you have kids?"

my reply:

Her name would be Joleen (sp?) and we'd call her Jewel for short, or Jules, Ju Ju.

She'd have beautiful think shiny healthy hair that I’d let her keep down because of the naturally wavy/curled ends. On Saturdays when we walk to the creek with her brother and father I'd put it up in a ponytail for her, tied with a ribbon, blue maybe green some days. But always on Sundays she would wear it half up have down tied in a bow with ribbon. She would wear white cotton dresses with lace, and be bear foot running around (oh yeah we are in Ireland) and she would have a giant vocabulary (that she didn't get from me.. maybe grandma or her father?) and have wonderful manners that came second nature to her.

She would always be patient with her little brother and teach him things, crouched over some frog or worm in the grass outside, I'd call them in for cookies (I mastered from friend A).

my little boy would wear little Dockers, tan and dark brown, with little white cotton shirts or any other color polo shirt. He could get them as dirty as he wanted just so long as he was having a blast doing so. also bear foot (yes I realize the word I'm using I like it better) he would have some bug collection that he would know all about it and tell us little snippets of information during dinner such as "Did you know the June bug can still jump using only one leg from tree to tree?..." He'd await gasps of shock and wonderment and we would all indulge him with each new piece of information he gave.

He'd (my husband) help with clean up. He would have a strong Irish, family name like Patrick, Gerald, or whatever. our last name would start O'________ and we would have it painted on the wooden sign out by our mail box.

I'd have a little garden that my mom would come over and help me with every three days or so (she lives a short distance, but to walk it would be quite a journey for an afternoon there and back again) we would talk and she would give me all the towns gossip or "sass and frass" as we call it. She is involved in several committees that do projects like making blankets for the big cities (lol I laugh every time I say that because compared to the years I spent in New York by this point their idea of a big city still seems silly) Serving food to the poor (and hung over I'm sure) and would be an amazing grandma that would read to the kids yards away in the back yard under a large willow tree with a blanket and fresh fruit in the afternoons. They love their grandma.

On days that it rains we would lay in bed and just listen to it. The houses there are so differently constructed that the rain sounds new, and familiar at the same time. Thunder echoes thru the mountains differently then around buildings and if I close my eyes I can remember the first place my friend(you) and I shared in NY back in the states. This places was beautiful, and falling apart. Every summer rain we would get the same leak, and for some reason we would still be caught off guard. lol I guess its because we had started to loose some of the "new city" thrill and wanted to keep that much the same.. drip drip ....drip yep can still hear it.

We would hear the kids open their door and he and I would become limp and still, perfectly choreographed we would appear "asleep" when they opened our door to see if we would make them breakfast or not. See its a standing house rule on the weekends whomever is the first to rise makes the Breakfast Surprise. (yeah we rhyme its lame whatever) One year that was cookie dough from the tube and orange juice.. I wasn't complaining! But not this morning.. I'd pretend so well that I'd drift back off to sleep until I hear his footsteps this time.. I try to now furrow my brow in question, in fear it would be a dead give away I was now awake.. but I cant help it.. they made chocolate pancakes...choice :)

what's yours like?


  1. This is so incredibly sweet. I wish all people would look forward to children like you do. We'd have a lot more loving mothers if we did.

  2. This is so, so sweet. John has named our children and assigned them personalities-John Charles Junior, the athlete and guitarist or pianist (John was a HS track star, cyclist and a classical guitarist), followed Julian Michael, our gay son who gets into ballet after his younger sister, Lily Elise, who's just like her Mama, starts dancing.

    John's got it all worked out, and I already love them so much. Or other versions of the same little monsters.

  3. PS-Expect a special shoe post, just for you!

  4. So sweet! And I love the name Joleen!

  5. my darling, you are amazing! i'm so glad these women who read your blogs see that in you! thank you for the 'nods' to your momma in this one and the family 'nods' in the Bucket List below. lets do all these things! loving life as we do, it will be all of that and so much more:)i literally cannot wait to meet Joleen! hear your irish accent, and meet the man that is the man.
    come visit me again!!! is it june yet?

  6. oh this post was so so sweet! I can imagine how sweetly surreal that must feel to wake up from dreams like those...but doesn't it get you so excited for motherhood?? :) Reading about your dream boy (child, not dream-boy like a man. lol) who you timed racing was SO cute! Can't wait to do that for my little guy! And the description of breakfast put the biggest smile on my face :)

    PS - that little girl is beyond gorgeous :)

  7. i love this post :) ive read that dreaming you're pregnant/going to have kids means that there's going to be a big change in your life!