Fab FAB FABULOUS

I have have had the daunting task of deciding what to "Take" and what to "Toss" in my BCave.

Lucky for me saying good bye to old shoes was easy, and buying three new pair was FUN!

Don't you love them?! I have already wore the top pair out on a date with SacTown and not only did I get compliments, I got lingering looks ;)

On our date we went out to dinner, then to a brewery for drinks, and when I thought the night might be over, we stayed out till almost one am dancing at a jazz bar. It was really nice. He is funny, smart, GORGEOUS, and a gentleman.

I haven't worn the others but soon and very soon i shall bust them out in all their adorable glory!

Today I give my two weeks notice at work, and I couldn't be MORE nervous. Well..never say never right?!

This weekend will be packed with yard sales {where I'll be selling everything from my bed-to my tv-to my candle sticks} I'm sad to see everything go, but I am so excited to get rid of it all! How does that even make sense? Who knows, but it's true :)

Thank you to all the lovely and supportive comments and emails I received after my last post. I truly and thankful for such great readers :)

My local Chandler Library has decided to TORTURE me by having me on some buillshiz wait list for the third Harry Potter book. I'm literally on the edge of my ....bed here people! Common now, give me a break. I need my Potter!

I have kept the anxious withdrawals at bay with YouTube videos of A Very Musical Potter. A musical done by production co called Starkid with Darren Criss who wrote and stars as Harry. You might know him as Blaine from Glee.

Enjoy that! :)

I have been watching it and CRACKING up laughing.

Hope you all are having a lovely week!

B

Okay

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 I am channelling the Phoebs these days. I need some super woman powers, and some general badassness.
As explained to a bestie in Chico, Cali early this morning via longest email of my life, I have been acting a little like "old Burns" and New Burns... Beyonce Burns.. should never act in such a way!

For awhile I thought I may have found my lobster. If not my lobster then certainly someone to pal around with and hold claws..

...you know..lobsters. Yep talking about Diamond Back. He sorta pulled the rug out from under me this weekend and started to retreat out of fear of being hurt. Lame. I mean yeah ok fine. I get it.. but still... we all have our "things" don't we?...

Thankfully I am not trapped in a box {yet anyway} and haven't thrown anyones' leg in a fire {Thank God for that}. But I still though that we were both  going in knowing that we liked each other and knowing that I was leaving... and knowing that I was leaving=knowing that we would be getting a little hurt in the process. Not in a malicious way mind you.. just in a way you do when someone you care about moves away duh.

 I am of the "Better to have loved at all.." way of thinking.

And I guess he is more of the "Better safe then sorry.." way of life.

I respect it, and I understand it. I just don't agree with it.  

I fall in love easy, and I can fall slowly or quickly. I love with my entire heart and my entire self, and I feel more empowered, more healthy, and happier for it. Even if I lose it.

My sister pointed out to me that I am a lucky and rare person who can love like that. And that when I get hurt and can feel that heart break, it means that I cared for someone.. and that's never a mistake to show someone love, devotion, trust, or any other of those fab relationship goodies.

Friends tell me I make peoples lives better by being in them, and that they see all I do, and how important it is to me to cultivate all of my relationships, and how special that it is that I take the time do do that...

I am not sure where I now stand. He isn't really admitting to the fact that he is pulling back.. perhaps he doesn't even see he is doing it? But I can defiantly feel a "shift", and so I am backing way off.

"Carrie voice-over (the next morning, after Big woke up feeling like his normal self again):

 It was a shift imperceptible to anyone but me. But I knew, Big’s heart had closed again. Maybe it would reopen in another five years, maybe it wouldn’t. But I knew myself well enough to know that that’s not enough. For the first time all week, I didn’t feel like crying. Life’s too short."

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Getting a for sure answer out of this guy was like a magic show pulling rabbit after rabbit out of a trick hat.

Each time he made any kind of sentence it was followed up with an, "but i mean hey.. who knows, lets be real here.." and then he would completely contradict what he had just said. He fell asleep and I was left scratching me head thinking WHAT the WHAT?

Feeling rejected, a little foolish, and just plain old sad. I slunked away to the bathroom to have a good old fashion cry. because I'm a chick. An emotional chick. And because this feeling made me flash back to one of the worst relationships I have ever been in, and the fact that I was feeling that again with someone I sorta just trusted of the bat because of the brothers friend factor.. did not feel good. Not good at all.

 But this too is a part of being open, sometimes being open means getting hurt and hiding mascara stained tissues in the kitchen trash. It just does.

In other odd news:

Mr.X (yeah I know, roll the eyes all you want lol)

In back and forth texts today he drops this:

Me: you def owe me a beer... you have some esplainin to do..

Mr. X: HAhaha I know! Shit I'm so sorry. We will soon. Next week? I'll fill you in on my lady and the baby {Mr. X} mishaps lol!

Me: I'm sorry... what's that now? Make it two beers sir.

What train of thought Do You Have??

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Fall in New York is beautiful.. or so I am told.

But I am no fool and I looked up the average temps for the months to come.. and Imma be freezing~!!!!

 I love Jens boots and her entire look here.. -the glasses.. I'm no celeb. So I have no reason to be in shades on a dark dank winter day.

So far I can not find her pair but I liked these:

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I have decided to wear a new sweater I bought over a pair of long johns yes.. and colorful long tank top, and long sleeve black top, with colorful scarf, jeans and these boots to NYC when I first arrive.. thoughts?

Besides how DUMB my face is in this picture? I seriously thought about cutting off my head in the photo. But honesty is the best policy lol. I originally took the picture to send to my sister for a YAY or NAY vote on it from the dressing room.. not for the blog world.. to be fair I mean.

These boots?

 I love them! Don't you!?

So this weekend I am house sitting for a different coworker and her two small pets. Which means Ill be leaving my darling and feisty mamba cat home in the evenings :/

I wish she had more room to play and be crazy. Did you know that people actually have homes made for their pets??

cat house.

     LOVE it

This house also has an area for their dogs!

What do you think?

Crazy Cat/dog lady? Or BEST IDEA EVER!?

Nanny?

Ok Homies you KNOW I had to post these!

King B and Sir Jay Z announced last night at the VMAs that she is prego.

Um cutest kid ever!

This site said:

But the night belonged to Beyoncé, who had announced her pregnancy on the red carpet. During the middle of the show, she belted out "Love On Top." At the end of the performance, she rubbed her belly as her usually-serious husband, rapper Jay-Z, jumped out of his chair and cheered in the audience with Kanye West.

Video of his jump

See her sing!! here

I feel like I need to be their nanny. B and I would bond over making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the mornings, and Jay Z would lend me his hats when I had bad hair days. I'd high five other staff members passing in the halls with their awesome baby strapped to my back, and Beyonce would call me B.. yeah. This totally needs to happen STAT.

{or in nine months}

Oh, but that line she says before she sang, "I want you all to feel the love growing inside of me"

 Creepiest thing she could have possibly said.

... ever ...

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My poor NYC! This weekend it was bitch slapped by Hurricane Irene. Boooo. Although many are without power until later tomorrow, most are fine and returning home. I know some may think I am nuts, but oh how I wish I was there during the storm!

First, I love storms!!!

Second, it would have been great bonding time with my new city and the people.

But no

 I was here.

in dry

hot

Az.

Alright, so moving right along on this Monday, Monday {bah dah, dah dah dah dah} Are my newest love: the tweed wide leg trousers.

They are sadly not everywhere. but soon. I feel that once it is more...Autumn-ie they will take over the racks.

{please please please}

I really like this dress for Fall too..

How freaking adorable and wonderful are these sparkle pieces for Fall!!

I love them

 I think My style for Fall this season is going to be a little.. business-ish. Which is odd since I don't work in that type of industry ... soooo not sure how I plan to pull these looks off.. but hey! if only in my head then whatevs right :) 

oh and these Accessories too!

THE WEEKEND

My dear lovely friend Lou who you'd know from here, graduated this last Thursday from a very competitive nursing program!! She was totally adorable in her little white scrubs {sorry no pics} and on Friday I went to celebrate with her and her twin sis Underwood {who might be starting her own blog YAY!} and the little man {who giggled the entire time! Ugh Love}.

 While we were eating I got a text from Shark asking if I was there at the resturant..? I sat up in the booth and looked around to spot him just behind us siting at the bar with his cousin.

Oh Lordy.

 After my friends tagged him as a stage five clinger {bahaha} we paid our check and I stopped by to give my friendly hello. I'm really not sure whats happening there. He is in? He is out? Who can keep up? Playa runs hot and cold.

I am warming up to a date night with the Diamond Back very soon this week! Not sure what to do though... and the ball is sorta in my court.. ideas?

Umm the following is me drooling over these dresses. I love wedding dresses what can I say?!

Which is your favorite? They all remind me of a fairytail princess wedding!

*sigh*

clothes from ZARA.com and dresses from here

under the weather and dreaming

{oops not sure where!}

Ok let me just say that my my bestie, is the best. I have two besties I consider besties. And they really really are both so hilarious and supportive and fun and gorgeous and smart and generous. I love my besties!

I would also like to look fab in the back of a limo [more realistic-cab} and kinda mean mug a camera... oh yes.. this WILL happen! Mark my blogging words!

As of Monday night I came down with Strep throat.

{hence the sort of lamo post..sorry}

{this post is awesome}

Yucko

After a $$ trip to the Urgent Care I am now properly hopped up on antibiotics AND some steroid medication.

These make me mucho hungry one second, and then have ZERO interest in food the next. It really is fun to order lunch just to throw it away.

Tonight is my date.. thingie with the Diamond Back at the blues bar. I am 70% Excited 20% Curious and about 10%Cautious. The perfect mix right? Cheers! More to come with details!

The ex is in town, and although I thought long and hard about meeting up with him to hang out and "..." I have about the same interest I did in my now trashed lunch. Ugh... no need to go there.. like ever again.. and also.. why am I still hanging onto a friendship?? Boy I really needed to have the little run in we did at work. (YEAH still comes into the place he used to work and stays for HOURS) Anyway.. it was less annoying this time, and more.. whatev I want to read my blogs.. shuush boy! I honestly sat there and carried on a pleasant enough conversation with him about.. who knows what the weather? School? Who cares.. and searched his face.. his voice.. something that would trigger that emotion. the emotion that sits in the pit of your stomach when you loved someone SO much and you see them again and it still manages to creep up and pinch!

 But not a feeling was stirring.. not even a mouse {I'm really excited for Christmas!}

So I cancelled those plans and didn't really make any new plans to see him before he goes. Why would I do a thing like that when I have Diamond back and the Shark?

Speaking of the Shark.. a few nights ago I went over there {looking like a bedmonster: which is a game I play with mamba where I hide in the blankets... you know what.. never mind. Just know I looked like hell.} We baked a cake for a coworker and watched a movie. Well he watched.. I mocked Keanu Reeves.. man .. I really cant stand him. He has zero expression people! How are you an actor with NO facial expressions??

To help me to get to sleep at night I have been playing a mixed little play list with your classic Enya songs, thunderstorm sounds, and "Down by the Riverside" by Agnes Obel.

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I am not sure if you have listened to this song. But its sort of beautiful in a very haunting and whimsical creepy wise words way..

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I find the above photo kind of wonderful

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Who am I kidding I would love to have a cloak of butterflies!

 I think she is just beautiful, and the videos really match the day dreaming in my head when I listen to it. it makes me miss cooler summer nights, and talking long walks or bike rides in the park when it is just dusk and the sound track remains the same.. birds in the trees, bugs chirping.. but the birds song changes, and the bees hum switch to a crickets chime and you can get away with prancing around on the cool grass over to the water bare foot and a little muddy.

yeah.. I miss that.

This part of today's blog is called "But its on SALE!"

in my pledge to NOT spend money where it isn't paying down a ccard or into my savings for NYC, I am pained to see so many cute things on sale right now at VS.

So here, i give this tip to you!

 Right now at VS and in stores there is a mucho mucho sale!!

It isnt even so much that I want this top, its that my arms do

I have decided that past hairdressers be damed! {not really}

For New Years this year I am going BLOND!

Here is why:

reason one

reason two.

Here is the song for you to close your eyes, and drema up your perfect summer experiance while you have a lsiten:

Thoughts Rollin Around

This is the adorable Ginger!

She is one of two dogs I am currently house sitting for. She has been a doll this entire week. She comes when I call, follows me like a good little shadow puppy does. She naps, plays and is a happy girl!

Until last night. Or should I say until 1am this morning, when Ginger apparently decided.. she hates me!

She barked non stop for four hours. I took her outside in the first five min of said barking thinking she simply needed to take care of business.

Nope!

Then I thought I'd put her in the "play pin" she stays in when I am at work.. maybe she just wanted to be out and play?

Nope!

Bark bark bark. Yip yip yip.

Then I thought.. perhaps she just wants to be near me?

silly silly mighty burns.. this was far from the truth. When she wasn't clawing at me, biting my fingers and toes, she was...

yup.

Barking...non.stop.

Oh don't get me wrong she also managed to chew on some of my clothes and shoes too!

This is why I now HATE Ginger.

Ok I don't hate her.. she has too cute a {slightly resembling an old mans face} face for a puppy. But I am very very disappointed in her. I also realized I could never have a child without help from someone.

@

I watched the end of Season Six of Grey's Anatomy the other night.

 And then I couldn't sleep. Because what kind of sick f'ed up stuff is that episode(s) all about! My goodness gracious! Give me a heart attack why don't you?! I mean I was sobbing crying. I turned lights on.

 I paced around with anxiety...to say I am involved in my shows is quite the understatement! I felt sick...and sad...and nervous..jittery...and felt like I wanted to call everyone that I love!

Thank goodness that part is over ;) now I am onto hunting down episodes of Season Seven!!

**~**

The other day when I described the burnt orange button up and lace mini skirt.. dude.. this is pretty much it!

I found it here who got it from here

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So I have been thinking...who not wear dresses all of the time?

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I think yes!

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How pretty are these dresses paired with the colors leggings? Ummm LOVE it!

Also why can't I wear wedding dresses more casually? Is it really terribly vain to tell you that I HAVE tried them on.. and I am in fact NOT getting married..and I thought "Damn I look good in white?!"

Cuz I did.... and I do :/

It's a shame..thats all I'm sayin.

@

Like how cute would this be to wear to dinner with the girls? Or a Tea Party?

It's the dream!

However, this...

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...is probably closer to what the reality of that dream would be. A bunch of chicks dressed up in their Wedding bliss best drinking beers and eating popcorn..

Who needs tea anyways?

(I like that Monica is wearing black socks with her dress bahaha!)

As always I have been swept away with picture of flowers...

From

from

Isn't this the perfect combination of oranges blues and whites? If you haven't already you should head over to An Apple A Days blog because it is always BEAUTIFUL!

Also she has a new site! yahoo!

Dreamy

From

Ok So when I get married {fingers crossed and all that} I would LOVE for Amy to do the flowers for the event. I love these colors so much! I love that everything is classic, romantic, and wild all at the same time, yet totally unified and cohesive in the arrangements. ugh. Perfection! I drool over this woman's work. She is a master at what she does {florist crush much}

Ok I am done gushing for today... p.s. do you have any idea how long it has been since I have received flowers? Too long dang it! Whats up with that ;)