Monday, August 15, 2011

In Like

So this weekend I met up with fella number two: the "Diamond Back".
I met up with him and his friends at a restaurant/bar/night was a confusing place LOL and also a reminder that I am not that hip. BUT my hair was in a super cute bun thanks to my new giant bobby pins and casual dark jeans, belt, grey v neck t shirt and heels.
The entire night I laughed. I laughed so hard my face hurt..its the best kind of laughter I think.
It's nice that there is a familiarity and still so much to find out about. I like him. I like shark. I may be in trouble. Because now I like them both.

Another date is in place with the Diamond Back for this Friday. We shall see how that goes.

The rest of the weekend was spent lovin up on the birthday boy and frantically making these for the big party!

So last week I wanted to address something that someone said to me here at work. Then when I read a post by a favorite blogger Dancing Branflake about a smilier theme, I thought I'd pause on it and decide what exactly I wanted to say about the exchange.
So here is what was said:

Coworker A: Oh here comes Bridgette..I think she is the only one left... soon though.. very soon..
Gaggle of coworkers: {Giggles}
Me: Ummm what are you talking about? Soon what?
Coworker A: You're next to have kids.. any day now I bet you'll come in and tell us your having a baby!
Me: Yeah.... did you hit your head or something? No way sister!
 {all smiles even though I am secretly soooo annoyed with this topic}
Coworker M: Oh so you're one of those selfish people...
Me: Excuse me!? {shocked!}
Coworker M: You're just too selfish and self involved to ever have children I guess...

Stunned now and holding back every smart snarky remark that was flying through my head.. I paused and took in every one of the faces staring back at me nervously...
Me: that must be it....?

The other girls laughed and kept talking about how there is "something n the water" and the when and the how they found out they were pregnant.....

I walked away feeling so mad.. and so angry.. Where do I even begin? It was sooo.. rude.. so..sooo mean. Normally I don't take any ones anything, for any reason! But these days I seem to be just stuck in a state of shock.. give them a passive aggressive word or two.. and walk away.. still stunned! Whats happened to me? Is the holding back a sign of maturity? For surly to bark back at this ritious piece of work woman wouldn't really be very beneficial. Nor would a brawl have been very professional. I wasn't even IN the conversation! I was brought into it.. it was a drive by attack and conversational trap!

No, I am not sure I do want children. And I think that just because a person CAN do something, doesn't mean they should. Especially when that "thing" is creating life. Another whole person. And isn't it sort of the opposite of selfish for me to dicide that I should not have a child right now because I am minus a serious relationship where I am in love with the father, and have zero money to my name, and am planning a trip across the country to move! Wouldn't it be supremely selfish for me to then decide after knowing all of that, that this child wouldn't "have it all"? Wouldn't have all of me, and wouldn't have the best possible chances.. to continue to just have a baby because I can.... to what? To prove to other woman that I am this all knowing, life giving being? Pff.
To quote the Practical Magic Auntie "{Snifff} There's the distinct smell of bull.shit!"
I'm so calling BS on this one ladies.

I have nothing against babies. In fact in recent months I have learned I quite love them in fact. A sweet warm little innocent being! Love it. Toddlers... eh.. not my fav little people stage. It's the testing boundaries phases.. the first of many.. and it's a very loud and whiny phase. Blah. But none of this means that I HATE children. That all I want in life is me me me! And that I can't stop and think about other people long enough to get knocked up because I'm stuck in front of some mirror making kissy faces at myself.

Here is my final thought: For a few years know I have learned the key to the choices I make. Ready for it? Intention. I believe that if I decided to have a child right now it would be selfish. I would not be thinking of the child and where I am in my life, and how that will effect this child. I think that when my intentions are FOR the child,  I will have created a life that will welcome, and support a child in all the best ways it can.. then that will be the best time to have a baby. Not when there is "something in the water", not when all my friends are pregnant too and. "oh wont it be fun to match and have double baby showers", and certainly not when I already have several children, am a single parent, and can hardly make ends meet as it is... will I ever decide that that is the time to have another child.


And because I want to end on a happy and selfish note ;) I REALLY want this blouse.. so cute right?


  1. Pregnant women are smug, but Mighty Burns is smart and lovely!

    Agreed, agreed, agreed.

  2. LOVE this post. You said it right, just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD. Brava to you. I wish more people thought about having kids as much as you do. I always liked that quote from Eat, Pray, Love: "Having a kid is like getting a tattoo on your face. You kind of have to be committed."

    Hope you have a wonderful day, Love.
    That Girl in Pearls

  3. I hope these two boys don't find your blog!!

    Your co-workers sound very annoying... rest assured that they are trying to cover up their boring lives by focusing on yours. They are jealous. Jealous people act smugly sometimes. Don't be fooled.

  4. GUH-your coworkers sound pretty miserable. Having children is such a personal choice, and I'm so glad that someone else also struggles with whether or not it's the right choice for them.

    In the meantime, you have dates, dates, dates! Can't wait to hear how they all go!

  5. Nice post, great photos :D
    Follow each other? I bookmarked!