Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Movement In My Sheets

There must be a major change coming, or I have already made that major change. In any case there is a change in the sheets....not wind.
Easy to spot, and has been my defense since I was a small child on why my room looked like "a war zone" (Come on really? Does it?) I.. am a burrower. I surround myself with things I love and what comforts me. Ever since I was a wee child, you could find a number of dolls, bears, silk sheets, soft towels, books, music, in a fortress of blankets on my bed. I slept with it all. And what didn't fit spilled out onto my floor, apparently in a "war path" like disarray. I have some what tamed this nasty habit of bringing favorite objects into my bed, mostly because I end up with a book corner in my eye in the morning. But also because I'm trying to be the grown up I "should" be.
(For the record:Hate the word should, loath it even)
But there is another bedroom habit I have. As I have grown older I find that I mostly get this from my mother with whom I have been on the other end of many 'a sofa chairs rearranging living rooms until it was "just so", before she would go on to the next project. But I have taken this to a weird level in which I rearrange my bedroom corresponding with change in my life. Bad break up? New school? New house? New season? New way of thinking? Ideas? Hair cut prompting new attitude? You can find me in my room no doubt pushing my bed across the room with my back to the bed and feet firmly pressed against a near by wall for leverage.
But I can usually feel it coming on.. like a sneeze. I brace myself and start to draw rectangular rooms and props on napkins, paper and anything I can scribble out new layout ideas on.It is just an impulse. With any bad break up, for example it is routinely: ice cream, followed by a night out with the girls, and then in the morning bright, ok maybe not early, I am sweat pants clad and on the move in my room with music blaring. Everyone knows this.
But today I had no clue. There was no tingling in the nose, no 'Ah ..Ahhh. Ahhhhhh' before the 'chooo!' And yet here I am mid arrangement in my room. Tables pushed out from the wall ready for its new home. While I look into Feng Shui ideas, I am left wondering..what changed? No break up, new thought process, attitude, or hair even. It isn't Spring. I am a bit annoyed that I couldn't feel it coming this time. Is this how it is going to be from now on? No warning? Has my weird habit shifted into something else? Or am I getting to be that efficient that I am rearranging before the change? hmm. Doubtful. I am also a procrastinator to the very core of me. I am procrastinating right now with you before finishing my rearrangement...see that's not it.
I think I have decided, sitting here with time to think now. That I would like my bed to be at an angle... there isn't much of a choice seeing as how I have lived here two years and already rearranged three times. There are only so many walls..and God forbid I move back to an old pattern, ew. That would be like resorting back to old habits. And we can't have that now can we? No.
-Burns..on the move.


  1. Hmm, curious. You have left me wondering what has changed. Starting clinic? Letting Marlee go? Realizing you are awesome enough that the question "travel alone?" is not a question at all?

    I will make a spreadsheet and weight the possibilities. Or I could read my textbook chapters...

  2. i love every word written here...for i've known you so well for so long... and i include in this love... the musings by Ari...right down to the P to the S. and, agreed, re: our favorite lethal snake.
    and the title... oddly, i, too, like starting at the beginning. it always makes the right kind of sense to me.