message

"My song is love. Love to the loveless shown. And it goes up. You don't have to be alone. Your heavy heart. Is made of stone. And its so hard to see you clearly. You don't have to be on your own. You don't have to be on your own. And I'm not gonna to take it back. And I'm not gonna to say I don't mean that. Your the target that I'm aimin at. Got to get that message home. My song is love. My song is love unknown. And I'm on fire for you. Clearly. You don't have to be alone. You don't have to be on your own." Coldplay Message.

its funny isn't it. the way you can hear a song and the meaning of it can sink so fast, and so deep into your soul, you think you'll never hear the words any other way. it touches each part of you and you memorize the way it feels. you have a certainty that no one will have the same meaningful insight you have into it. nor the same connection with the emotions that drives you both. But if your like me and you clean your kitchen each night, ok every other other night, to a random playlist, then you'll hear it again soon enough. you'll hear it again, and you'll discover it is speaking to you in an entirely different way.

once this song came on, it was the only one i could stand to have playing. listening to coldplay is sort of dangerous emotionally for me. not in a negative way. it is most certain that i will be immediately transported to a different time and place when i hear their songs. i have so much attachment to them. it used to feel a sad. sad seems like such a weak word to describe how it felt. so heavy and so strong. i can get pulled down so far into myself and into my thoughts and memories that i wasnt sure how long i would stay down there. but now. today. it feels more like visiting with an old friend. but mostly it makes me miss that friend immensely. and it doesnt make me sad to miss, but uplifted in a biter sweet way. because i know if i miss it, i remember it. and remembering is what is most important to me now.

the song and his voice are the only sounds in the house other than the running water, and distant muffles of the cat and dog playing in my fresh sheets. (bummer).

this is my first blog. and first entry. i am a fan of several blogs. in my head i have created the first line, first word, first impression i wanted to make in mine. now i don't really recall any of them. the blogs i read are painfully honest and funny. they paint beautiful pictures for me to see, and i am there with them in their day, thoughts, and questions. i love this about them. id love to be able to be as raw as they are. brutally honest and secure to a fault in their mess they share. but i dont know you well enough. and so im keeping my cards "close to my vest" as my mother says. lets play it by ear shall we?

im not sure what i expect to do with this. or what will come of any of it. i plan to pretty much write down anything that pops in my head. whether it be a story about my day. a story about whats happened in my life. maybe lyrics to songs, poems, pictures or drawings i find or make myself. ultimately a place of expression.

here is what you can expect. poor grammar, spelling and something altogether new. at the end hopefully somewhat moving, funny or dare i try for insightful?

its been an idea for awhile now for my family to start a blog. i have no doubt that a blog or any creative writings from my mother wouldn't cause a major stir and attract attention. however it has yet to be written.

i dont know if i have a message just yet. i suppose my message will change each day with a new entry. for now it is love, love unknown.

pruning from the hot water~burns.