randoms, just like life

• Should I be offended or relived that the "Walmart Licker" hasn't licked my toes as of yet? Common man... these are good toes.. right?

• "When the going gets tough, make sweets". That's my new motto..and explanation for the t-shirt over my bathing suit situation
• "Operation Self-Esteem--Day Fucking One."
  — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

Maya Angelou

• My hair goes both ways
• Men found saying "Real men {dot, dot dot}" are often doing things real men are never found doing.
• Never cared for the green nail polish .. but a good mint color sounds pretty good.mmmmm...mint. wait?
• Many times in life... I over hear things that make me crack.up. on the inside. But last night I just let it fly at Walmart when I over heard this woman announce, "Fine! String me up! Shoot me! Put me on trial the next I try and smoke near an entrance.. ooooooo I'm sooo sorry!"...I thought wow.. that was really dramatic, and I don't think she really means it when she said "I'm sorry". Then the man with her mumbles.. "that was a bit much.." LOL I lost it and they turned to stare at me but I don't care.. he said just what I was thinking bahaha..

• Bridget Jones makes some good points. Just sayin

• My hair products and soap are now safe and sound in the bathroom as the roommates girlfriend is no longer welcome after eating an entire box of another roommates nutrition bars.. in three days. Oh because she stole my tampons. that too.

• Once, the guy I liked and was starting to date came over to surprise me. I was home. Car parked out front, window open, in the bathroom while I cleaned. But when the door bell rang I ducked. I had a sneaking feeling it was him, and I hid? Then my phone went off. It had a text front him, "I'm out front". I ignored it, and on my hands and knees crawled out into the hall where you couldn't see from any window, or angle. I sat there nervous on the cold hard tile as the door bell rang again, and finally the knocking stopped. I HIDE. From the guy I liked.
• Best part? My dog must have picked up my vibe because she didn't bark at the bell, or stand in sight staring at me wagging her tail giving me away. She actually slinked her way over to my side never breaking eye contact and came and sat next to me. We then both stared at the tile we were now perched permanently on until we heard a car door shut, her gaze shot up at me. I smiled and nodded "yes", then the two of us, still in stealth mode crawled to the window to see if his car had pulled away, we watched as it did and then with a sigh and hint of humiliation I stood up, gave my dog a treat, and continued on with my day.

• "Tis' better to live your own life imperfectly than to imitate someone else's perfectly."
  — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Have a wonderful Friday all!

I dream of Afria

I woke up the other day with a crystal clear image Africa, and my mom.

First thing in the morning I turned on my computer, and wrote it down for her in an email... I share:

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So I had this dream the other day when I was taking a nap and I am elaborating on it a little here:

You were living in Africa with C. I was a little older, and us "kids" were taking turns going to visit you at your new place there. I was the first one to go and you were so excited!

You picked me up from a dusty airport in little cargo shorts all tan and tiny like you are, and wearing a straw cowgirl hat, your long hair was braided loose with pieces that fell out and framed your familiar face and the same blue eyes we share.

You arrived in a jeep and were clearly more prepared for what to wear then I. You had these boots on (Remember when I was little you had these walking boots? And giant white fluffy socks that rumpled up around your ankle?) and a jean front button up vest type shirt... sleeveless (again I am SURE you had something like this at some point because I can see this outfit SO clearly lol) You are all smiles and calling me Bridgie.

Brown clings to my black Doc Martin type shoes, jeans, black concert T with black blazer (apparently in my dreamland hailing from NY means I mostly wear black now LOL) as the wind kicks up dirt dirt and more dirt. I look up to find you and first see giant birds.  I have never seen birds that color or size before in a tree that seems so small and so weak I am shocked it can hold the birds’ weight!

There are several utility vehicles there picking up their peeps and your jeep is off to the side and a green/brown color with giant wheels a roll bar and big flood spot lights.

 We run, hop and jump with excitement to see each other and you give me a big ol’ hug.

You smell like you, like the perfume I used to spray on my jacket before school and wet dirt.. it might rain soon.. you tell me it’s been scattered showers the past few days now. Shouting over the rumbling sounds of the airport behind us you say “common!” and pick up my bag and toss it in the back of the jeep. I wait to see how you’ll climb in and follow your lead.

The jeep has a loud grumble as you bring it to life and we jostle about in the front seats. You shout out random sights to me and point in the direction you want me to look. I can kiiiiinda make out most of what you say.. but some of the time I just look… squint… and then nod and smile back at you “yes.. that IS neat!” having no clue what is way out there you are so jazzed about, but it makes me smile to see how familiar you have made yourself with your surroundings here, and how happy you are to show me all of it!

The view around us is vast and flat. The sky above has bursts of light blue sky but has dark gray and purple clouds moving and covering them quickly as they roll around the sky above.
Unlike the ocean it is easy to see where sky meets the gold fields of tall (what I call “safari”) grass on the horizon. The gold and yellow shades seem somehow highlighted and brighter compared to the dark sky above.

I look out and am amazed at all the movement I see in an otherwise empty and great valley. The wave of the grass as it bends with the wind; the shadows from the clouds moving over head and casting down pockets of light, or rain depending on where you look…

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We come to a bridge that is just wide enough for your tires to skim by on either end. There is a group of giraffe in the distance and you get a little smirk as you quickly pull the jeep to the side of the road.

You lean over to undo your seat belt and pause to say, “get out!”. I follow suite and hop down with a thud. Small puffs of dirt rise and settle atop my shoes. I look down and sigh... clearly they will be brown and no longer black before I even get to your place. “Such is life” I tell myself, "I’ll have AFRICA DIRT!.."

 I consider saving it in a jar when I get home for a minute and then see you round the front end of the jeep and motion for me to come walk towards the tall animals...

I hesitate. What if there is a cheetah out there...


I look over at you, and we both wait a beat... you adjust a boot lace and remove a spur in your sock.  I remove my blazer and toss it back onto my seat in the jeep and look back at you.. you smile.. I smile.. and you say.. “lets run!” I am so game!

 With each of us holding our hats firmly atop our heads with one hand we run through all the tall grass (safari grass). It’s as flat as it looks.. no tricky rocks to fumble your foot. No holes.. nothing. Just flat.. and a little springy..

We run until we see a creek that is clear clear clear and it is the divide between our galloping path and the troop of giraffe who don’t seem to be one bit concerned or curious about us. They continue to chew on top leaves and bump into one another in a somewhat lazy afternoon kinda way. One is laying down in the middle and I think it still might be taller than I am from sternum to the top of his little horn on his head. They are not at all clumsy or gangly like cartoons make them out to be.

In fact nothing is exactly how I thought it would be.

I knew there would be wide open spaces, but not with such color and movement. I didn’t know there would be a cool breeze and storm clouds. I didn’t know the tall grass wouldn’t itch my legs, but feel soft and feather like on my fingertips as I ran through them. I didn’t know the water would be so clear, or that the wind would smell so sweat.


We pant, and watch them a short while before turning around and starting our walk back to the jeep which sits alone on the side of the road and waits for us as if it may have rolled its “eyes” at us when we got out, but is now happy to wait while we act like little kids on vacation.. because.. we are!

~

We can hear each other much better now that we aren’t near the loud plane engine, or the roar of the road while we drive.. so I tell you about the flight.. the odd ball people, the confusing terms and cocktails I consumed. I fill you in ‘short hand’ on the people in my life.. friends.. roommates.. maybe the guy I’m seeing.. nothing too important or pressing. You ask me if I’m hungry, and tell me a funny story about the market where you went today. You list off a few of the things you want to make for tonight’s dinner. You tell me C is in charge of such’n such, and I’ll be in charge of this’n that.                                    I agree and it sounds good.



You tell me more about the people you have met, and someone you are really excited for me to meet.. a new friend you are already just in love with. We climb back in, I’m a pro already at this and we clip in our belts and the jeep comes to a roar.


Mom. Move to Africa please for a little while so we can run in feather fields and watch wild life . oh please!


Lol Bridgie

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Someone Like You

So I have heard that "Chasing Pavements" song.. and I didn't really like it..? It struck me as kinda annoying. Sorry Adele darling.

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But then my sister said her name to me the other day, and when I called my mom {who happened to be oil painting listening to an Adele CD} it prompted me to spend the next three hours on youtube watching music videos, and interviews.

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It cracks me up that someone so beautiful and someone so talented has such a hilarious laugh!

I absolutely have fallen in love with her music, her voice, and her eye liner.

I my reasons for staying single are valid, smart, and realistic.. but dang it man! I feel like I am missing out. I am definitely someone who enjoys her routine of crackers and Nilla Wafers in bed with a good movie or book as a single gal. But I am also really good in relationships as well.

 bahhaa of course that's what I think anyways...

*

I just can't help but to feel sad some times. and yes watching a friend get married isn't super helpful on the single girl front.

I may have had a small pity party.. or two.. after the day. Replaying Adele and singing it at the top of my lungs while I drive home on the freeway and scare fellow drivers that pass and see my ugly cry face singing along to "Someone Like You".

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But I can't help it.. just like I can't help that as I type this I am eating an Easter themed Reese's cup right now.. {with a fork}

"But Burns you were doing so good. You have been happy as a clam.. what in blazes set this off?" you ask?

I'll tell you. At the beautiful wedding, with the beautiful bride, and her beautiful family, sister, friends and twinkle lights, was also a beautiful guy I may have already kinda sorta dated.. Mr. X. poop I know right. Your totes rolling your eyes at me. that's cool.. just keep reading though while you do so please.

The entire night I never found myself alone standing for more then two minutes before he was at my side and holding my hand, or swooping in to lead me to the dance floor for a slow dance, refilling my drink {ok that one may have had some ulterior motives attached} but dang it if it wasn't really really nice. He volunteered to take me home {again...motives lol} and when the fact that I hadn't eaten since 8 am that morning and since had had perhaps one too many and I wanted sit sit and hide in the bridal suite, he sat there too.

{I was totally fine ps and didn't act a fool or end up sick.. in fact I didn't even have so much as a headache the next day CHAMPION!}

Of course I know I am indulging in that feeling though and that in reality I am perfectly fine.

But it is hard when you are good with someone and to know it isn't going to work.

It might not be a bad idea for me to try and find someone like him.

But just in case I don't... and the sad girl thing keeps showing up in the car, on the radio, in my iPod, in the store {as sad girl is certainly responsible for the Reeses breakfast shopping}, and any other time I have access to my iTunes I am soo glad and somewhat comforted that Adele has already been there, done this, and then recorded an amazingly heart felt and honest song about it all for both me, and my sad single gal self to listen to. on repeat.

Adele 21. get that.